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11:44pm 22/03/2004
You know, with all these mood swings, I'd swear I was pregnant, lol. I had a pretty decent weekend, aside from missing the Wolfsheim show. I was planning to go, but didn't wake up until about ten that night, which really kinda put the 'ole kibosh on that notion. I did get plenty and bountiful sleep that night, though, as I went promptly back to bed. All in all, I spent most of the weekend in bed recovering from Friday and Saturday night. I only got up to eat every now and then, and returned to bed almost immediately. Had class tonight, which was allright, and then came back to Belle Glade, to begin whatever labors my family has scheduled for the week. It started on the way back from class tonight, this formless sense of loss, loneliness, and general alone-ness. I know it has no basis in the really really real world, but it doesn't seem to care much. So I'm gonna do what I've been doing for the last few months. I'll beat my body into exhaustion with physical exertion, a'la exercising. Push-ups, squats, the "riding a bike on your back" things that make your tummy muscles holler, and some of those tippy-toe things that make your calves cry. Then I'll catch my breath, and do it all again. After 2 or 3 rounds of this, I ought to be too worn out to acknowledge the depression. If/when that doesn't work, I'll write. Heh, just the thought of that should be enough to scare the depression off, lol. I used to fight depressions off with chemical assistance of the illicit sort, but that started to look a lot like a vicious circle and more importantly, it started to lose it's effectiveness, so I stopped doing that. I gotta say, though, the drugs hurt a lot less than this whole "physical exhaustion" thing. But on the other hand, there is the whole "healthy" thing as well, not to mention that as far as I can tell, the exercise stuff actually seems to be having some long-term effect on the whole manic-depressive cycle itself. I'm not too sure how I feel about that, because over the years, I've gotten rather used to the emotional roller coaster. (riding it with my hands in the air going "WOOOOOOOO!!!!!") So we'll have to see how it works out in the long run, I guess. But so far, I think the pros of this new methodology outweigh the cons.
mood: awakeawake
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(no subject)
02:00am 23/03/2004 (UTC)
Spring Dew: flirty
It sounds good to me. And exercise improves your lung capacity and you know what that means.
picword: flirty
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(no subject)
05:55am 23/03/2004 (UTC)
Magical Truthsaying Bastard Shadesong: Lollipop! - xanadumalion
picword: Lollipop! - xanadumalion
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(no subject)
12:30pm 23/03/2004 (UTC)
I feel so objectified... so ...'used" ... I think I'm getting turned on.
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(no subject)
02:11pm 23/03/2004 (UTC)
Magical Truthsaying Bastard Shadesong
Yeah. That has that effect on me too.
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