?

Log in

No account? Create an account
Why yes, I do feel sorry for myself...  
04:49pm 12/04/2004
 
 
Benjamin
I just got in from the worst dentist visit, ever. And I mean that with a capital "EVER". First off, for the numbing... you know that gel stuff they put on with a q-tip on the place where the BIG DAMNED NEEDLE is getting jabbed into your gum and/or roof of your mouth? Well, that's apparently not modern enough for "Captain Suffer"... He had these little square band-aid things that he stuck to those spots... and then he left. In theory (that's THEORY, as in "theoretically") they're like this Novocain patch or something. The THEORY is sound, and I'm sure those little patch thingies work fine ... unless any saliva comes into contact with it....in which case, the HUGANTIC FUCKING NEEDLE gets jabbed into the roof of your mouth (and they have to press hard, you know?) just on it's own. Then, it (the big giant needle imbedded in the roof of your mouth, remember?) gets wiggled back and forth "s l o w l y" to spread the Novocain around the area to be numbed...

Oh wait, the fun and games actually started before that. There were bugs. BUGS. (as in INSECTS) They were in the room with me... three of them that I counted. I don't know what they are, but they look like brown ants with wings, except they're about 3/4" long. One on the rinse-n-spit thing, a second, more sociable one I found wandering merrily up my forearm while waiting for the little patch things to take effect, and another on the wall, as the filling was being applied for the second time. (Yes, that's the "same" filling, applied for the "second" time... but I'll get to that in a bit)

On the wall in front of me were two posters, each a blown-up home photo of someone's toy dogs. Small things with long straight hair, big eyes, tiny little teeth bared in what, I believe, was meant to be a smile. These two freaky-looking psycho-poodle pictures stared me down the whole time. The walls were a very faded shade of institutional green. The illumination was from one of those old-school fluorescent lights in the ceiling (You know, the flickery, make-you-wanna-claw-out-your-eyes kind) and one of those adjustable 5,000,000,000,000,000,000 watt retina blasters which all dentists seem to have. Later in the visit, I was to be hit in the head with this light, but I had no idea at the time. The room was so small that whenever one of the nurses (or whatever you call a dentist's lackeys) wanted to cross from one side of the room to the other, they'd politely tap me on the leg, to let me know that I had to scrunch up in the chair a bit, so they could get by, because there wasn't enough room between the end of the chair and the wall for both my feet and their asses. FYI, none of them were especially "generously" proportioned, the room was just that damned small.

Ok, so where was I? Oh yeah... trying desperately to hold still while the dentist pushed the Novocain (rhymes with pain) into my palate and gums by means of the aforementioned HUGE GODDAMNED NEEDLE. Once that was done, I was left alone for a few minutes. (I assume, this was to give me a chance to hold myself and cry in privacy) One of the dentettes came back and asked me if my mouth felt all fat. I said, "yeah, sorta" because it did... sorta.
So the drilling starts..... ::insert obscenities here::
Right away, I knew something was amiss because there was none of the rubbery-faced ness one expects. Also not at all rubbery was the drill bit. I smell burning tooth, and heard _that_ sound (you know the one) a split second before everyone in the office realized simultaneously that the Novocain (rhymes with "pain") apparently had not taken effect. I made a noise like "gash!". The dentist asked if that had hurt, and I swear, the little gnome to his right giggled. I nodded, and Mr. Makekiressayouch called for another "round" (I'm not kidding, that was the word he used) of Novocain (yes, it still rhymes with "pain") Luckily, the first round had taken effect enough to numb the injection site, so that was ok. Dr. Du Sade the asked one of Satan's little helpers to get him a fresh bit for the drill, as this one was feeling a little dull... WHAT THE FUCK!?!?!?! Then they left again. A few minutes later, my face started feeling all fat and rubbery, and they came back as that feeling was beginning to fade. There was drilling, which still hurt, but not too bad that I couldn't hold still.

Then it was time for the filling itself. Having had fillings before, I was glad that the worst was over... If I'd only known... If I'd only known!!!

The first batch didn't mix right, and so was discarded. Likewise for the second... and the third... by which time, His evilness was growing tired of holding my jaw at such an awkward angle, and called for another assistant. The second one set the mixing machine on the right setting, then chatted with the first one about what a blazingly incompetent bag of ectocasm she was, and the filling material was handed off to the dentist, who applied it to my newly- holed tooth like drywall compound. The hole was too big so he summoned another batch of metal stuff, which followed the first. Satisfied, he made sure they had both bonded properly with my tooth, and began grinding down the filling to conform to the opposing dentins. Have you ever had a chunk of metal ground down in your mouth? There is heat, and there is pain as the hot little bits fall from the filling, to cool on the back of your throat... Then there is a moment of stunned silence as the dentist realizes that his grinder has popped the new filling mostly out, and sent a chunk of it like a tiny, burning, pixie of vengeance onto your tongue. (not my favorite flavor, honestly)

So the filling has to be removed, and a new one installed. Oh yeah, baby! Out comes the drill! By now, the Novocain (Rhymes with "Oh! The pain!) is almost worn off, and wow, does it ever hurt as the filling is stripped out of the freshly dug hole, especially when he presses too hard in one place, and makes this whole new little tunnel into my tooth. The second attempt at the filling was a success, and it was shaped properly. As he was gettign up to leave me alone for the filling to dry, he nudged the lamp, which was not too stable in it's support of springs and levers. It shifted suddennly and swung right into the side of my head, making a most comical clang sound. I laughed. What else was there to do in that situation, really? That was the end of that torture, and I was allowed to leave, after promising to come back in two weeks. You see, because of the extra time taken in the beginning, he only worked on one of the three teeth in need of work . The other two are the actual cavities! This was all just to replace a filling that had fallen out years ago, that I had never even noticed. I think I ought to go get drunk now....
mood: wanna, gonna, go curl up and cry
music: Cell Auto Mata - We Met Under Concrete (-:] DigitalGunfire.com [:-)
 
    Post - Read 15 - - Link
 

(no subject)
 shadesong
 
02:13pm 12/04/2004 (UTC)
 
 
Magical Truthsaying Bastard Shadesong
Oh, fuck.

I should *not* have read this mere days before going in for oral surgery.

Very glad I'm making them knock me right the hell out for it...
 
    Reply - Thread - span>Link
 
(no subject)
 jeweldevil
 
03:17pm 12/04/2004 (UTC)
 
 
J Daniel Valencia
No shit!! I have an appt Wed!!!

Kires, name of Dr Incompetent, please. I am compiling a list of no-gos.
 
    Reply - Parent - span>Thread - span>Link
 
(no subject)
 kires
 
06:26pm 13/04/2004 (UTC)
 
 
Benjamin
he's in clewiston, so I douht there's much chance of interaction.
 
    Reply - Parent - span>Thread - span>Link
 
(no subject)
 jeweldevil
 
08:49pm 13/04/2004 (UTC)
 
 
J Daniel Valencia
dammit! my appt is in clewiston!
 
    Reply - Parent - span>Thread - span>Link
 
*sigh*
 geekychick1
 
02:16pm 12/04/2004 (UTC)
 
 
Geeky Chick
i know this probably wasnt supposed to be funny.. but i laughed my head off reading it. :X

 
    Reply - Thread - span>Link
 
(no subject)
 mermaidblue
 
02:42pm 12/04/2004 (UTC)
 
 
Doux comme l'Amour, Chaud comme l'Enfer
*hands over the tequila* sorry darlin. this should numb you right quick.
 
    Reply - Thread - span>Link
 
(no subject)
 _anamchara_
 
02:53pm 12/04/2004 (UTC)
 
 
The Slayer
You see, because of the extra time taken in the beginning, he only worked on one of the three teeth in need of work . The other two are the actual cavities! This was all just to replace a filling that had fallen out years ago, that I had never even noticed. I think I ought to go get drunk now....

Get a new dentist to do the rest of the work!!!
 
    Reply - Thread - span>Link
 
(no subject)
 jeweldevil
 
03:16pm 12/04/2004 (UTC)
 
 
J Daniel Valencia: clutzybear
I need to read this now, right?
picword: clutzybear
 
    Reply - Parent - span>Thread - span>Link
 
(no subject)
 _anamchara_
 
03:25pm 12/04/2004 (UTC)
 
 
The Slayer
NO, you don't!!! Back away from the rant and never ever look at it again!!!
 
    Reply - Parent - span>Thread - span>Link
 
(no subject)
 jeweldevil
 
03:35pm 12/04/2004 (UTC)
 
 
J Daniel Valencia
i already did, i didn't even read this comment, i don't know what it says.
 
    Reply - Parent - span>Thread - span>Link
 
(no subject)
 springdew
 
05:59pm 12/04/2004 (UTC)
 
 
Spring Dew: sad face
Oh god! *huge squeeze* Oh no! Please get the name of azagthoth's dentist. He's really good and gentle and everything.
picword: sad face
 
    Reply - Thread - span>Link
 
(no subject)
 flutewater
 
06:46pm 13/04/2004 (UTC)
 
 
vuvb
I had a similar novocain experience when I had my wisdom teeth removed. They numbed one side of my mouth and started drilling and cutting on the other. They actually did this for several minutes before I screamed to the top of my lungs. (I was 13 and my first time having mouth surgery (and last) - I thought I was going to have to deal w/ it... I tried.) I'm w/ one of your other friends. I'd go to another dentist... unless you're into that kind of stuff.
 
    Reply - Thread - span>Link
 
(no subject)
 _corvidae_
 
08:19pm 22/04/2004 (UTC)
 
 
Nevermore: :angel
While I do indeed sympathize with you in your hour of torment I have to say that I think my last dentist visit (in maybe ever if I have my way) tops it on the pain and anguish scale.
I make an appointment at a dentist I have chosen because of the name of the office - Comfort Dental - a bigger misnomer never existed. It takes me two months to actually get in to see this marvelously popular dentist (I'm assuming because he does such wonderful work).
We get to the dentist office after struggling to find this double wide trailer of a building when expecting a full dentist office (you know with like concrete walls etc). It is fairly clean, with all the proper dentist office regalia, and I am quickly escorted back to the dentist chair. My husband asks the receptionist how long the procedure will take as he is going to be thoughtful and go procure soups and other soft foods and drinks for my recovery period. She says it will take an hour, so he wanders off to the store.
The dentist comes in, he seems to be a fairly nice man, and so I try to relax as he preps his tools and prepares the novacain syringe. I thought it kind of strange that he did NOT use a topical version to numb the injection area first, but being a brave girl I just hissed a bit as he started to work with his needle. I soon thought it even stranger that he was angling all of the injections into the center of the roof of my mouth since he will be removing the teeth on either side of that area, but again I suck it up and try to deal. Very quickly the novacain swells the entire roof of my mouth so that I can hardly breath through my nose at all, and the edge of my throat starts to swell shut as well.
The dentist returns after letting the novacain take effect for several minutes, by which point I am just struggling to breath.
At this point this sadistic individual proceeds to pull out a blunt chisel which he sets against the side of my left wisdom tooth and then strikes sharply with the palm of his hand thereby shoving my tooth sideways out of it's socket so that the roots tear through the flesh toward the center of my mouth. Just as I start really getting a good breath to protest he switches sides and abruptly cracks the other tooth out of socket in a similar fashion. My eyes start gushing tears, and I am panting, trying to whimper enough to protest.
He then calmly replaces his chisel onto his tool tray and picks up what appears to be a set of pliers. His eyes are completely emotionless like a reptile. Seeing the pliers I figure as badly as this hurts at least it is about to be over since he will soon gently wiggle loose each tooth and we will be done.
The evil bastard then proceeds to clamp hold of one tooth with the pliers and with a sharp twist of his wrist forces the tooth in circle, and rips a large chunk of flesh from the delicate nerves that once held it and then pulls the entire bloody mass out of my mouth and gazes at it for a moment so I can actually measure how many grams of flesh I am looking at. At this point I just start screaming in that terrible muffled way of a person who's in agony, but who's jaws are being forcibly held open. Then, just as calmly, he carefully places the mass on a paper towel and turns back to me to replicate the process with the second tooth. Still with no expression even though I am screaming and crying. The second wet ripping exploding pain goes through my mouth to set fire to every pain center in my brain, and I literally think I am going to pass out from the pain. Once again he calmly examines what he has extracted before setting it aside and picking up wads of cotton which he crams into the raw nerve ending to stem the tide of blood gushing forth. He gives my leg a pat and says all done like nothing is amiss, and the assistant escorts me out to the waiting room where my husband is not waiting because he's still at the store.
So, I sit on a little couch and wrap my arms around my shuddering body and just cry and rock back and forth making keening noises. Luckily my husband is a quick shopper and returns within 10 minutes and we head up to the window to pay for my enlightening experience. At this point the dentist actually has the nerve to poke his head out the door and ask me if I want painkillers!
-Wife of Corvidae
picword: :angel
 
    Reply - Thread - span>Link
 
(no subject)
 kires
 
08:30pm 22/04/2004 (UTC)
 
 
Benjamin
sweet jesus! I was on my way to bed whejn I read this, so I'll reply better later, but dee-aam... I mean ... just ... damn. At least it was relatively fast...? There really ought to be a "no go" list of dentists somewhere online, you know?
 
    Reply - Parent - span>Thread - span>Link
 
(no subject)
 _corvidae_
 
06:58am 23/04/2004 (UTC)
 
 
Nevermore
Heh, real Corvidae here this time. Wife stole the system when she read your story.
YES there needs to be some kind of online Dentist survey site where you can see if people had trauma like this. I for one never want to face the stress of deciding: Take care of wife or kill the person that caused this.
 
    Reply - Parent - span>Thread - span>Link
 


 
 
 
Navigation  
  Previous Entry
Next Entry
 
July 2012  
 
1234567
891011121314
15161718192021
22232425262728
293031
 


  Powered by
LiveJournal.com